I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
