I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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