chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I think I just sharted jello shots
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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