She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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