I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
