So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
