The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
