i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I wish there were birth control emojis
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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