Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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