remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
