I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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