You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
