It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
