We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
