there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
