Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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