My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Never joke about your clitoris.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize