I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
