no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
