After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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