i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
