Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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