dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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