Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
