You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
