Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
