its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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