Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
