she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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