We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
