I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
