Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
