i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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