You're so nebulous sometimes
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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