question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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