remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
