that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
