aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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