none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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