if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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