my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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