you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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