Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
