"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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