You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize