Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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