So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You pole danced in your parka.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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