The maid of honor just puked.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Be still, my beating vagina.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
