it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
