My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
