last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
