I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
