I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my phone needs a breathalizer
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
