She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
