i don't plan on having that self control this summer
its not stalking. its research.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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