meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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