Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
