dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
