just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
