Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The beer is more important than you right now.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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