"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just pee around me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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