And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
