She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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